What is Premarital Counselling? 

The word “counselling” tends to have negative feelings attached to it. 

Contrary to popular belief, counselling isn’t something that is only resorted to when there is a problem in a relationship. 

In Islam, premarital counselling can help a couple navigate the struggles they will face in their first few months of marriage, and help them resolve those conflicts before they escalate. It also helps them build communication skills and learn more about themselves as an individual and as a couple. 

The Mubarak Rishtey, team has put together the top 5 benefits of Islamic premarital counselling: 

1. It builds communication skills

When couples come to counselling, it helps them learn how to communicate with one another. Understanding how each person communicates in a relationship is critical to the success of a relationship. Maybe you need space while your partner likes to talk things out immediately. Maybe your partner likes to do something to get their mind off of the issue at hand while you prefer to confront the issue head-on. 

2. Plan for the future

 Premarital counselling is more than just a way of learning how to connect with your spouse and solve current issues. A counsellor can help you and your partner set clear religious, familial, and financial goals, and have a plan for how to get there together. Is one spouse going to stay home after having kids? What will that look like for you as a family? What challenges may you face in the future and what are the ways you can get through that? Couples often get caught up in wedding planning, that they overlook planning for the future. Having a plan going into a marriage will help you and your future spouse be ready to tackle the challenges that come your way. 

3. Safe space to openly discuss fears, needs, and wants

This is closely tied with learning how to communicate. Many of us have very common fears going into a marriage. A counsellor can help you learn how to confront those fears and communicate them with your spouse. Oftentimes we are also afraid to openly communicate our wants and needs as we go into a relationship, and a counsellor can help you get past that. Addressing these three items can help you and your spouse better understand what to expect going into the marriage. With the help of a counsellor, you can learn to talk openly about things before they become issues down the road. 

4. Discover new things about yourself and your partner

Do you know what makes you happy in a relationship? What about what makes your future spouse light up with joy? How have you both handled conflict in the past and how will that translate into your future? Oftentimes we believe we know ourselves and our partners more than we actually do! Counsellors can help bring out important traits that we may have overlooked in ourselves and our partners. 

5. Connect and trust your partner

While these initial conversations are difficult, having them early on and with the help and guidance of a counsellor will really set you up for success. Learning to verbalize what your expectations are may be difficult at first, but it will really help you connect with your partner. When your connection is strong and you know you can trust your partner with anything without being judged for it, you have set up a foundation for a very successful marriage, Insha’Allah