How to Find the “One”: Top 3 Tips to Finding Your Soulmate

Over the last several years, I’ve worked with so many singles and matched lots of couples. I know more than anyone how stressful it is to find that special one. After all, this is THE biggest decision you’ll make in your life, and you want to make sure that you’re set up for success. 

Based on my experience, here are three tips I have to help you find the one. 

1. Be Open-Minded

As a matchmaker, I do my very best to find my clients someone that will truly blow them away. 

However, it’s often very difficult for me to find someone who checks every single box. It’s definitely okay to have preferences, but my number one piece of advice is to keep an open mind. 

I can’t tell you how many single women I’ve worked with who say they only want someone who has hair but ended up falling in love with someone who is bald. Or they only want someone tall and ended up loving someone on the shorter side. Then there are the single men who say they want someone who is light-skinned or blonde, but ended up falling in love with someone of a darker complexion. Or only want a girl who is from a certain background and then marrying one who is from a different ethnic or cultural background.

If someone matches all the personality traits you’re looking for, but maybe doesn’t have the exact physical or cultural traits you prefer, give them a chance. You really never know. And you might be pleasantly surprised. 

That brings me to my next piece of advice.

2. Prioritize Your Deal Breakers

I cannot stress this enough. 

It’s so important to be able to separate your preferences from your deal breakers. 

Make sure your deal breakers are well thought out.

Things like praying on time, fasting during Ramadan, working out regularly, not smoking, wanting or not wanting children, etc are valid deal breakers. 

Preferences include physical characteristics, education, occupation, marital status, and sometimes even personality traits. Have an idea of what you are looking for, but don’t let this be a hindrance to marrying a good overall person. 

Stay open-minded, but keep your deal breakers focused on things that will really affect you and the way you raise your family down the road. This is what true compatibility is based on. 

3. Be the Person You’d Love to Marry

Sometimes we fall short in some areas and want someone who can help us become better versions of ourselves. That’s totally fine and a healthy part of any relationship. 

When choosing a spouse, however, keep in mind that no person can complete you, they can only compliment you. 

I’ve had many clients come to me wanting to marry someone who is in great physical shape and works out every day, but they themselves rarely work out and don’t take care of themselves physically.  Be sure that what you are looking for is something that you yourself can attain. Otherwise, it won’t be fair to the other person. Want someone who prays all their prayers? Do your best to stay on top of yours. Want someone who eats healthy? Do your best to do the same. Even if you’re not on the same level, doing your best to improve the quality of your own life will translate into a much happier and successful relationship down the road.